How to navigate your way around chaotic perfume aisles
...and find actual enjoyment in fragrance sniffing and shopping
I’ve spent the past few weeks experiencing a specific side of perfume retail that felt like some kind of heavenly fragrance movie montage. Friendly, pressure-free, intimate and calm, filled with curious and delicious discoveries and enriching conversation. Think tiny independent boutiques in pretty cobbled streets… A curated perfumery staffed by proper scent nerds with oodles of time to commit to finding your perfect match… A gorgeous little candle shop in Devon where I was offered a G&T at 10am (!) whilst browsing… And of course the extraordinary Barnes Fragrance Fair, where a collective of exquisite UK-born-and-bred indie brands gathered in a picturesque village hall to the delight of local craft-loving residents, who got to meet founders and perfumers and buy directly from their stalls.
It was all divine and dreamy but, frankly, extremely privilege-bubble. This isn’t what normal perfume shopping looks like and whilst I could bang on about booking pockets of quality time to spend perusing specialist boutiques, that is neither realistic nor plausible.
Instead, I’m here to help you navigate the absolutebloodynightmare slightly more hectic and mildly intimidating battlefield of department store perfume shopping, where sales targets, commissions, limited editions, smellmaxxing extraits (don’t) and gift sets are flung at you like watermelon wedges in Fruit Ninja.
I’m not exaggerating - it’s ruthless out there. I spend a lot of time walking through perfume halls and they’re the busiest section of the entire store. Forget handbags and accessories, I have never seen crowds so dense, manic and spend-thirsty than in Harrod’s Black Hall, Fenwick’s Kingston perfumery and Selfridges Oxford Street’s medieval meatmarket-esque fragrance zone.
Some savvy shoppers go in there knowing exactly what they want, armed with a bullet-point list of the latest exclusives and an innate craving for being fawned over. But many, so so many (and I hear you, because you’re in my DMs on a daily basis), enter with panicked trepidation, anxious you’ll make an expensive and hasty mistake, or with your guard firmly up after having been (or witnessed your teen kids) treated like scum if you don’t buy something.
Next time you’re headed to a big store, here’s some solid and simple advice that I’ve shared over the years in one neat space. Whether you’re buying a special scent for your wedding day, something for dad in the run-up to Father’s Day or you merely want to meander and spritz nice things, a bit of prep will make the experience so much more enjoyable.